I wonder this all the time.

If you have ever found yourself wondering if you have pregnetsy you're not alone. 6 out 4 people already have pregnetsy and don't even know it. It is a serious condition facing our youth. Do your part and get tested. While your at it, take some kind of idiot test.

Favorite Horror Movie # Seven

This movie is gory. Very gory. It's also one of the funnest horror movies you'll see. It is the result of the documentary series Project Greenlight. The documentary follows contest winners through the process of making a film. I didn't see it.
The plot is pretty simple. Nasty creatures are hungry and eat anyone or anything they feel like ingesting. Its one of my favorite's because of the slick humor that is added in. Upon a characters entrance to the screen is followed by a pause and a description of them and chances of survival. For instance, a "bad ass hero-type" comes through the door carrying the head of one of the creatures. The shot pauses and we are told he is the HERO and his chances of survival are "very high". 30 seconds, later creatures jump through a window and rip his head off. The blood and carnage begins and doesn't let up until the final frame. The blood and gore is over the top and at times is unbelievable that there could be that much blood in a human. It will jump you and gross you out but you'll have fun. You don't have to worry about nightmares or checking the closet before bed.
They followed up this one with two more movies. All equally gory but failing to meet up to the story of the first. Feast has a strong cult following and fans are eagerly awaiting a fourth installment. I'll be ready for it and would ready for five more. There has never been any closure to the film. (where do they come from?, how can we stop them?) This isn't important to me. I just enjoy the bloody ride.

Oh...thanks Superman.

I never really liked Superman in the superhero universe. Sure he upheld Truth, Justice and the American way but in my opinion he was kind of lacking certain attributes that make a hero. My problem is that Superman wasn't brave. He was invincible. When stopping a bank robbery it was no different that you or I swatting a fly with a swatter. Occasionally Lex Luthor would stop him with some kryptonite but its not like he knew is was going to be there. Maybe if did he wouldn't have even shown up. Stopping crashing airplanes and calming typhoons was no different. It was just kid's stuff to him. I liked the superheroes, although having great powers, still had to worry a little about getting their ass handed to them. If bullets bounced of me it wouldn't bother me at all to stop a gang or stop a train with my face. So really Superman was just some nerd who liked write news stories. Nothing really heroic at all, but here I sit with no superpowers at all. Just a nerd at a computer.

Did you just say something?

                                                                      
                                                                           "Scream"

This one reminds me a little of a scene from a horror movie. I think of it as some demonic being sneaking up behind a guy that's just minding his own business. I can only assume the creature is up to no good but I guess that will always remain to be seen. Maybe he just wants to hang.

Favorite Horror Movie # Eight.

I saw The Evil Dead for the first time when I was about 16. I have been a horror movie fan since it was still acceptable for me to crap my pants, so how this one had escaped me so long I have no idea. What makes this movie great lies in its direction. Its not well acted or even that scary. Although when it was released in 1981 it was considered controversial for its over-the-top violence and gore. In truth though its sort of silly really. It did reasonably well and became an instant cult classic. Bruce Campbell makes his first appearance as Ash Williams. He would return to the franchise two more times and kicked a little more ass each time.
It is a pretty basic demon possession horror complete with demonic trees and undead girlfriends. Five friends stay at a cabin in the woods and awaken ancient demons by reading from the "Book of the Dead.  It was directed by Sam Raimi who later went on the direct the Spiderman movies. He combined intricate camera techniques with chilling sound effects that kept you waiting for the next "jump scare".
I really enjoyed the following two movies, Evil Dead 2 and Army of Darkness but they won't make my list. The Evil Dead left its mark on me by introducing me to a new way enjoy the genre. It's not all about tenacious, gripping, cover-your-eyes horror. There can be humor to relieve the tension in between "scares". The budget was low on this movie but you don't care. The special effects are in the small details that make this classic run against the grain of the other horror movies of its time. There has been long talk of a fourth in the series and if that day ever comes I'll be first in line. Laughing and cringing the whole time.

                                                                             "Portrait"

This is one of my favorite Photoshop pictures I've done because it was the most fun. It was also the most time consuming. I've tried to do it a couple of times since but can't seem to remember how the hell I did it. It doesn't matter though because I rarely remember how I do anything, so its really just a way of life.

Why I Love the Venture Bros. An Essay.

I would like to take a moment to talk about this show. In 2003 The Venture Bros. launched on Cartoon Network's adult swim. I was immediately hooked. It combined a mature humor with the action cartoon shows I enjoyed as a kid. It was like Johnny Quest on crack. (eventually the show brings in the character and he is indeed strung out on crack). With great voice characterization and a serial storyline this show is a fan favorite. It is a bit underrated by critics but in my opinion one of the best shows on television.
The shows follows the adventures of the Venture family. Dr. Thaddeus Venture, his sons Dean and Hank, and their (ex)bodyguard Brock Sampson. The show is based in a world where heroes and arch-enemies are an everyday way of life. The back story of all the characters are intertwined into a web of love and hate that makes a daytime soap opera seem like Sesame Street. The villains and heroes have a very thin line drawn between them and at times you forget which side is the one standing for justice and humanity. For the most part its all blended together and you end up not caring as long the story keeps you laughing. It has a cool and dry humor and may be why it is lost on some. Is this half hour of cartoons as funny as Family Guy? The Simpsons?  No...but it does have a lot more depth and structure. If you miss a couple of episodes you will have to catch up before anything makes sense. If you are interested in watching the show I strongly suggest you start at the beginning. I hope this is enough information to get you at least interested in this show although it does mean buying DVDs or streaming it from your choice of potentially harmful websites. So until next time.. Go Team Venture!

I'm Not Sure If This Is Funny...

Occasionally I will post some of these crazy Yahoo! Answers pages. 

I saw this one awhile ago when I was randomly searching...I don't think its a joke. I can answer though.

Answer: Yes there are a point.

Since it is Favorite Horror Movie day..

Thought I'd throw in a poster. Not on the List of Favorites, but definitely a bad ass poster.

Favorite Horror Movie # Nine.

It's rare for me to choose a re-imagined or remake movie. To me it kills all of the original ideas by imaginative writers out there. In this case I make an exception because it was envisioned and conceived  by a man who actually loves horror movies. Rob Zombie seems to really get horror movies and seems to be very passionate about making them. I also chose the UNRATED Director's Cut because that is my preferred way to watch a movie. Sometimes I wait for certain horror movies to make it to video release so I can watch the Director's Cut. For the most part its just a little extended gore but that's reason enough for me. What I really liked was the back story. It told the audience a little more about the monster known as Michael Myers. It showed that he was once an innocent little boy, but only at first glance. The evil was always there under the surface. He kills his family and gets locked away for what was supposed to be forever. After that the movie takes its inevitable turn to a slasher/gore festival. Up next for Mr. Zombie is "The Blob", I'll be looking forward to his take on something a little more sci-fi. If nothing else I'm sure I will be entertained and that's all need. For now come October 31st I won't be anywhere near Haddonfield, Illinois'and I don't think I will be anytime soon. Or ever.

Who Turned Out the Lights?

                                                                
                                                                            "Too Dark"


Another posting of some art. I used Photoshop and I think this is one of the first things I really accomplished that look like something resembling art. I like the contrast and it makes me look pretty villainous.

Why Did Guys Sign Up For This Demonstration?

This is why I fear the ocean...

A Brief History of a Miracle.

I am the father of a 2 year old little boy named Milo. He is bright, funny, smart, handsome and warms the hearts of everyone who meets him. He also has cerebral palsy.

Cerebral Palsy can be defined as: A condition characterized by paralysis, weakness, in coordination and/or other motor dysfunction caused by brain damage or birth trauma.

Milo was born 6 weeks early and we were immediately concerned that something wasn't right. He did not easily take to feeding and was given a feeding tube. After many restless nights and relentless practice feeding at the hospital, we decided that it was something we do at home and took our stubborn little baby boy home.

Things at home did not get any better. We hardly slept since Milo needed to be fed once an hour just to get enough nurishment to survive. After awhile sleep was a distant memory and the waking world was spent in an exhausted haze.

Things for Milo were no better, he was constantly unhappy. He seemed to be so uncomfortable in his little body and cried 90 percent of the day. He did not smile or or laugh. I can not explain the pain I felt giving so much to my baby and not receiving a hint of his love in return. Heartbroken and defeated we started to investigate the possibility there was more going on than a fussy baby.

After many Google searches and visits with doctors the enevitable finally came. Milo was diagnosed with Periventricular Leukomalacia or PVL. This is a little known disorder but basically is a type of brain injury that affects infants. The condition involves the death of small areas of brain tissue. After we got used to pronouncing it it was time to do something about it. Just when we got used to the idea of brain damage, Milo started having seizures.

Many visits to Neurologists later, Milo was given meds to reduce the effects of his PVL and seizure meds. The next challenge was giving a baby that could barely swallow his formula, medicine that he badly needed to stop the seizures and give him some peace from his tense arms and legs.

Whew...Ok skip some more ridiculously sleepless months and it was time to accept the fact that Milo was going to need a feeding tube. He was "failing to thrive". 3 words that still make cringe (even typing them!). We got a nasal tube to begin with that advanced to a G-tube that was a direct line to his stomach.


He started to gain weight but now was vomitting relentlessly. For some reason, his stomach could not hold food. We were never quite sure why, but at this point we were no longer in denial and took a bigger step. Milo got a J-tube. Which is a tube that bypasses the stomach and goes directly into his intestine.

This is finally when we met the real Milo. The baby we were waiting for finally came to us. No longer vomitting non-stop and able to get the medicine he needed, Milo started to shine. The day he smiled was the day all the pain I felt all disappeared. The stabbing pain in my heart began to heal. Soon he was laughing. It sounded foriegn but definitely a dialect I could understand. Soon we were all sleeping through the night and it was finally time to join the waking world. I began to smile again. As if we both learned to do it at the same time.

He has had some hopsital stays due to the vomiting issue, which as of the time of this is being written is still an issue. He attends physical,occupational, and speech therapy a couple of days each week and it has been helping a lot.The hospital stays have become very infrequent and we now have (given the circumstances) a very stable life.

Occasionally someone will tell me how beautiful and amazing he is. Then they tell me it must be very sad or heartbreaking. I tell them "it was". No longer could I say at any point that life with Milo is sad. We have moved past all the stages of grief and have accepted. Accepted the miracle we have been given. Accepted that he is a gift. A little gift that can smile and laugh in the face of the challenges life has presented him. The name Milo means, "Soldier". We didn't realize it at the time we gave him the name, but the name couldn't be more fitting.

So, it turns out that life is fair. The love you make is equal to the love you take. I didn't always think this way. Now I realize I was a fool.

Thank you for reading this.

Eating My Own Head.

                                                                            "Eating"

Above is some artwork I did a couple of years ago. I was spending a lot of time using Adobe Photoshop CS and ended up with a lot of bizarre imagery, mostly with myself as the main focus. Its a hard sell when telling someone, "Hey can I take a couple of pics of you so I can make you eat your own head?" So as I put these on display I might seem a bit of an egomaniac. I am a little I guess. A micro-egomaniac? I don't think that's a thing...oh well.

"The possibility of physical and mental collapse is now very real. No sympathy for the Devil, keep that in mind. Buy the ticket, take the ride." ~Raoul Duke- Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.

I caught that just in time. I don't wanna be that guy.

Favorite Horror Movie # Ten.

In 1979 director Ridley Scott gave us Alien. I watched it for the first time in 1987 when I was just 7 years old. I was drawn mostly to the sci-fi aspect of this film. Being seven, space and aliens seemed pretty rad. I had no idea what it was going to be about other than that which is obvious in the title. I watched it late at night when the Late Saturday Night Film Feature would come on sometime after Saturday Night Live. This movie is what Science-Fiction horror is all about. Green, drooling razor- toothed aliens and even a little razor-toothed mouth on the inside.Their blood is acid and will melt your face if you are unfortunate enough to get some of the green shit on you. It scared me back then. When I watch it now none of the magic has gone. I just see where the special effects aren't quite as rad as they were when I was eight. For some reason I was always afraid to be in the bathroom alone after I saw it. To me I guess it would be the most logical place for one of those mean motherfuckers to get me.
This movie makes number ten on my list because of its ability to still jump me when I watch it in the dark. Even though I know when the Alien is going to jump out and bite someone in the face with that nasty extra little mouth. Even as I finish watching it I can't help to think. "In the Bathroom no one can hear you Scream"

My Ten Favorite Horror Movies.

I have always been very passionate about movies. I think movies have always been passionate about me but unfortunately they have been too afraid to say anything. I would like to start a series of posts about my favorite genre of all movies. The Horror Movie. I saw the first Exorcist movie was I was quite young and since that moment I was instantly hook. Scared out of my mind for about a week, but hooked nevertheless. Every time the wind would blow through the trees or the floor would creek I was damn sure the devil was out to get me. The devil hasn't got me yet but I have seen enough horror movies to be prepared if he were to arrive. So "the power of Christ compels" me to let you know my ten favorite horror movies.

The Stealing of the Crown of Mulberry. Part One

        In a land far from here, there were two small dogs. No one can seem to remember the names of these two small dogs, so for the sake of the story we will name them...Bella and Julius. Bella was of an unknown mixed sort of breed but we do know she was small, white and had a very pleasant demeanor. Julius, her only son was also (of course) a mixed breed. Julius was the bastard son of a long gone father named Shadow. Not much of Shadow is still remembered other than this fact : He was a dick.
        Now back to Julius, who was smaller than his mother, long auburn hair, and also had a very pleasant demeanor along with being very mischievous. He was the sort of dog you would love to pet but no one ever did given that he was very forgettable and not really worth paying much attention to. He did not know his father for very long because, Shadow the Dick, ran off shortly after Julius was born.
        Bella and Julius lived the Forests of Kaynynia which was a dreadful place filled with Dirty Mongrels and street cats. The street cats, more commonly known as the Shanks controlled all of the Forest. This was after a short war with the Dirty Mongrels who were very lazy. So lazy they eventually no longer cared who controlled the Forests as long as they had plenty of bones to chew until the end of time. Also squeaky toys. Upon these conditions the Shanks agreed to supply them with all the bones they could eat and they also gave them plenty of very squeaky toys. Bella and Julius were always forgotten about when the bones and squeaky toys were handed out on the first of each month. They found themselves constantly settling on chewing sticks and occasionally rocks.
        The neighboring Fields of Mulberry was truly wonderful place. Freshwater surrounded the lush green fields and it was rumored to have plenty of everything a small dog could possibly want. Bones, squeaky toys, even wet food from a can. Also lots of cheese.
        In Mulberry the dogs ruled the land and cats seemed quite content to serve under the dogs' rule. It was also rumored that the one who wore the Crown of Mulberry would remain the Lord of the Fields of Mulberry until the wearer decided he or she no longer want to rule the land and simply gave it to someone else.
        We now shift the story to the two small dogs...um..oh yes Bella and Julius who were sitting next to their favorite tree chewing on sticks and rocks. It was a nice, but it can be certain there are things they would rather be doing. The conversation that follows will be the starting point. The start of a somewhat entertaining story about two dogs that no one can seem to remember.
        Julius was chewing on a particularly awful stick but his favorite since his choices were quite limited.
Julius called out to his mother.
"Mother?"
"Yes, Sweetie?", Bella replied.
"I am pretty goddam sick of chewing this stick", Julius stated.
"Well, my dear, I am afraid there's not much we can do about that", Bella answered back.
"Yes, there is Mother" Julius stated. A mischievous grin crossed his face.
"Oh, and what is that precious?", she asked puzzled.
"I am going to steal the Crown of Mulberry", he stated. His grin now a full smile.

To Be Continued...

The First Blog Entry.

This blog may or may not contain stories about small dogs. Furthermore the stories about said dogs may or may not be forgettable but that depends upon the reader. It will include my interests and it is my hope that you also find my interests interesting. I will be posting my opinions about movies, music, video games, and the delicate art of the comic book. With all that said I urge you to read the next post. Again I would like to warn you...there may be stories about forgettable small dogs. Or maybe not...